No Insurance

Today I learned that although my medical insurance plan has provision for fertility coverage, I am not eligible because my hubby had a “sterilization procedure” (vasectomy) 8 years ago, long before he met me.  The fact that he had a vasectomy reversal, which we funded completely ourselves (by the way), apparently makes no difference.  We are being penalized because he was responsible.  So we have to cover 100% of the IVF costs.  On Tuesday we find out how much that we will be.  I have no idea whether we will be able to do this.

In other news, I finally dragged myself to my doctor for a check up today.  She is a wonderful woman, been in practice for 20 odd years and practices complementary and alternative medicine, in addition to tradition western medicine.  Over the 6 years I’ve been in the US, I’ve gained a huge amount of weight, steadily upward.  My motivation to do anything about it is non-existent and when I do try gentle exercise I am so heavy, my feet and back ache to the point of putting me out of commission for a while.

I need to know how bad it is…how bad the vitals are…how this will affect me having a baby…because, of course it will.  She sent me for a battery of tests, prescribed reading Ultrametabolism, listening to meditative CD’s, scheduling in exercise time and 30 minutes of walking, 3 days a week.  Even I should be able to manage that, right?  Right?  RIGHT?!

I felt good about seeing the doctor, a little motivated again.  Until I got the news of the medical insurance.

Did I mention how dog-tired I am of all the issues in my life and how life just seems to be a continual uphill struggle?  I just don’t know if I have the energy to fight this fertility battle.

Fertility Clinic Appt Booked

I finally booked an appointment for myself and hubby at the fertility clinic for next Tuesday Sept 22nd, 10am.

I am getting excited again…possibly some light at the end of the tunnel.

Trying not to get too excited though.

Am so terrified of the drugs and the cost and the potential failure.

So Let’s Try Again

Hubby and I saw his urologist for what is possibly the last time.  She informed us that 9 months after the vasectomy reversal he still only has 70K live sperm with very low motility.  A normal count is at least 20 million.  She recommended IVF and Shady Grove Clinic.

I cried all the way home.  He starred blankly ahead.  We were both in shock.  I kept thinking “how can a place named Shady Grove help us have a baby?  “Shady”, implying under the table, questionable.  When I called today, the receptionist seemed nice enough.  “Well, of course, they’re NICE!  They’re SHADY and WILL act NICE.  But that means nothing!” says the cynical voice in my head.  I wish the voice would shut up sometimes.  I called a friend who know about these things and she said they are a well known company and good.

I think we might just be at the point of giving this whole baby thing another try.